Fishing: there’s no age limit

SB fishing no age limit

More texting codes for us

SB texting code

SB waking up and nothing hurts

https://www.seniorslaughing.com/1058/

Seniors Texting Code

Seniors' Texting Code

Burgled?

SR burgled? no, grandchildren

Sex at 75

mailbox pic

I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox informing me that I can have sex at 75.

I’m so happy, because I live at number 81. So it’s not too far to walk home afterwards.

And it’s the same side of the street. I don’t even have to cross the road!

Man with no enemies

All golfers should live so long as to be this kind of old man!

Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, “How many of you have forgiven your enemies?”
80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man, Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the weather was bad.

“Mr. Barnes, it’s obviously not a good morning for golf. It’s good to see you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?”
“I don’t have any,” he replied gruffly.

“Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?”

“Ninety-eight,” he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

“Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?”

The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply, “I outlived all them assholes,” and calmly returned to his seat.

What’s for dinner?

 

 

flowerflowerflowerflowerflowerflowerflower

The Deaf Wife!

flowerflowerflowerflowerflowerflowerflower

 

An elderly man decided his wife was getting hard of hearing. 

So he called her doctor to make an appointment

 to have her hearing checked.

 

old couple

The Doctor said he could see her in two weeks, but meanwhile,  

there’s a simple, informal test the husband could do to 

give the doctor some idea of the dimensions of the problem.

“Here’s what you do. Start about 40 feet away from her, 

and speak in a normal conversational tone and see if she hears you. 

If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

 

old lady  animation

So that evening she’s in the kitchen cooking dinner, 

 and he’s in the living room, and he says to himself,

 

old lady  animation

 

“I’m about 40 feet away,

 let’s see what happens.” 

 “Honey, what’s for dinner?” 

He calls.

No response.

 

 elderly man animation

So he moves to the other end of the room,

 about 30 feet away.

 “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

No response.

 

old man  animation

So he moves into the dining room,

about 20 feet away.

 “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

No response.

 

old man  animation

On to the kitchen door,

only 10 feet away.

“Honey, what’s for dinner?”.

No response.

 

elderly man  animation

So he walks right up behind

 her and screams.

“HONEY, what’s for

dinner??!?!”

 

His wife turns to him a rage.

 

old lady dancing  animation

“I told you, CHICKEN!

 For the FIFTH TIME,

it’s CHICKEN!!!”

 

 

Blessings to You & Family

 

Christine

 

 
 
 

   animation 

nb Listen to the beautiful audio attachment

“Down Memory Lane” 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.alighthouse.com/files1/gracewellshare.gif

 

=

 

 

 

Breaking news from Southborough Mass.——DMC visiting member’s model train layout

Model Train

Hi Dull Guys,

This Friday the Dull Mens Club will be meeting at Jed Watter’s home to view (and play with) his marvelous model train layout. [Read more…]

Apostrophes in the news again

Greengrocer's Apostrophe's

“Grammar rules everyone should follow” is the title of a recent article in The Guardian,   click here. [Read more…]